I think it’s human nature to have timelines set-up in our heads. Or maybe it’s society that pushes agendas on us. Either way, I think it’s safe to say that most have these ideas in our heads of how things will play out. For us, we truly thought we had our lives planned out from marriage on.
The plan: pregnant with baby #1 shortly after we were married, build our home, baby #2 shortly after that, then we would decide about baby #3. And when my fertility tracker app showed that I’d be ovulating on our wedding night (this is almost laughable now of how naive I was!), I truly thought: “what great timing! This is going to work out perfectly.” The plan was going to be perfect..
If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, you’ll know that is not how things worked out for us.
There have been so times that I thought: “oh, I see, I bet it was suppose to go this way.” But I was wrong…a lot actually.
The whole IVF process was so overwhelming, but I thought there were so many signs that things were going to work out. We cycled around Lent and the leading up to Easter.
We did a day 3 transfer…meaning that 3 days after our one sweet little embryo was created, it was transferred.
I remember thinking: how perfect. The most amazing thing also occurred in just 3 days…the death and resurrection of Christ. I’m suppose to find out if I’m pregnant on Good Friday. Perfect! (Sounds perfect, right?!)
But things did not go the way we had planned.
Holidays were hard. Birthdays were hard. Every big event (well the small ways too) that passed us by of not being parents was hard. The waiting and the repeated let down of wondering about God’s timing was hard.
But let me tell you about God’s timing.
One year after our failed IVF. Our adoption profile went live on Good Friday.
May 12th, 2015, 2 days after Mother’s Day. We got the call we were matched with an expectant birth mother.
Thanksgiving 2015. None of our family knew that we were in a hospital in another state holding our child. We got to FaceTime them and surprise them with the newest family member.
You see, all the times I became angry or sad about things not happening when I thought they should…God just had a better plan for me.
So whatever you have going on in life with those situations that don’t seem to make sense, the Lord could just be planning something way better! Something that you can’t even fathom. He will provide!
Hold on tight to Him throughout the process and He promises to carry you along the way.
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:6 NIV